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1) Why is global warming a joke?

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Answer: Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

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2)Why does the climate want privacy?

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Answer: It is changing.

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3) Mars and Earth are playing that old game of “Find the thimble.”
Earth leaves the room while Mars hides the thimble.
After a minute, Mars says, “Ok come back in.”
Earth takes just 2 steps in when Mars yells out, “You’re getting warmer!”

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4) One iceberg says to another, "Why are you breaking up with me?"

The other iceberg says, "Sorry, it's global warming."

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5)What do you say to your best friend whom you have had a fight with?

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Answer: Talk about global warming, it is an icebreaker.

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6)Why don't clams give to charity?

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Answer: Because they are shellfish.

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7) Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?

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Answer: Because they dropped out of school.

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8) What does a dolphin say when he is confused?

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Answer: Can you please be more Pacific?

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9) What does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

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Answer: Because they spend most of their years at C. 

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10) What do you call a witch who lives near the beach?

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Answer: A sandwich. 

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11) What does seaweed say when stuck at the bottom of the sea?

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Answer: "Kelp!, Kelp!"

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12) Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?

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Answer: Pier pressure

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13) What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?

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Answer: It a-piers we have a problem. 

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For more jokes, click this link.

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Click this link to view my source.